What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
A borderline personality disorder is a mental disorder that affects your thinking and feeling. Did you ever experience your self standing on one foot in a dark room with closed eyes when it’s silent everywhere? You can’t maintain the balance though it does not seem to be an absurd practice but is challenging to manage. You can’t stand like this for more than a few seconds, and you fall. Your whole life goes unstable, your own identity, schools of thought, character, mood, and your relations.
The situation sounds horrible, and it is, no doubt. You live in a miserable mental state. But hope is there, so stay put to travel to a contented life.
Identification of Borderline Disorder
- I usually feel anger, anxiety, suspicion, uncertainty, and grief at extreme levels.
- My emotional stability is out of control.
- I feel emptiness and broken inside.
- My feelings and emotions about people in my life shift so quickly and easily that I don’t believe myself. One moment I am worried about them, and the other I might hate them. My thoughts are not stable, and it’s out of my control.
- My romantic relationships are unstable.
- I desire to comprise harmfully challenging activities, as they, somehow, amuse me. But I stay the same way no matter what.
- Suicidal thoughts overcome me, and I want to engage myself in thrilling activities encountering dangers.
What are Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms?
Mental health consultants have categorized the symptoms into nine groups. If you have any five categories of a more extended time of your life, you face borderline personality disorder.
Fear of desertion
You are afraid of being alone if you are living with a borderline personality disorder. Moreover, don’t want your partners out for more extended periods. You can’t bound your loved ones so, the situation intensifies when you argue and go aggressive showing possessions. You go rational, showing possession, but you are pushing others away. Eventually, you, yourself, become a reason for your abandonment.
Rattled or fluctuating self-image
You are not clear about yourself, and sometimes you picture yourself as a hero and the other time a villain. This confusion leads you towards delusions of life. You lose stability and sustainability. You keep changing your company time after time. Yet, you don’t get satisfaction.
Uncertainty of Relationships
You don’t have durability in your relationships and fall in love so quickly, and after you get disappointed, you quit that faster. Moreover, you become immature in dealing with your relations. You don’t live a moderate level of relationships. You either live short term relationships, or you believe in the great ones.
If you are dealing with a borderline personality disorder, you chase the activities that produce sensations and thrill. You take risks and enjoy dangers ignoring the destruction. You spend money out of your budget, drive recklessly, engage in risky sexual connections, uses excessive quantities of drugs. These risky behaviors make you feel better in an instant, but their long term results are terrible.
You tend to harm yourself in indifferent ways. In an intense situation, you cultivate thoughts of taking your life. With borderline personality disorders, you hurt yourself by burning or cutting; that is a terrible thing to do with your self. Sometimes you plan fatal indications for committing suicides. You give signs of those plans to people around you.
Extremely high emotional transitions
With a personality disorder, you face intense mood swings. One moment you feel delighted and the other you probably feel awful. But unlike bipolar disorder or depression, these phases stay for shorter time intervals. Your emotions ignite furiously for the issues that usually could be dealt with peace. You are powerless to tolerate minor obstruction and show tremendously disastrous response.
Constant feeling of the chasm
People around you make you noticed that you are showing up in a very irritable behavior. It is so because you believe that you are worthless. You think vacuum inside, leaving you hollow. Moreover, talk about this void inside your heart and mind that you can’t escape. You feel like you are drowning in a deep dark ocean of emptiness. That feeling takes over the rest of your thoughts in an adverse manner.
With borderline personality disorder, your anger gets out of control once it has arisen. You might victimize yourself or go for the individual who is a target. Go feral, throw things away, slamming the doors, shouting, and yelling.
You destroy the whole environment around you, as the rage consumes you at the moment.
As you lose your connection with realities and sensibilities, you are spaced out, faded away, and feel overcast. When you are undergoing borderline personality disorders, you become suspicious and uncertain about the objectives of others.
Stress envelopes your thoughts are emerging cynical notions that run your life further to destructive trails.
When you are already suffering from something named “ borderline,” you are exposed to many other coincided aspects. Many other disorders follow you when borderline personality disorders already influence you. These associated disorders worsen the situation but, at the same time, make it easier to diagnose borderline personality disorders. Here are some of those common disorders;
- Anxiety Disorders
- Eating Disorders
- Substance Abuse
- Depression and Bipolar Disorders
Sometimes when you complete the treatment of borderline personality disorder, these co-occurring disorders also get better. However, sometimes dealing with depression doesn’t treat borderline personality disorder.
So far, known reasons that explain the causes.
The experts believe that borderline personality disorder is caused by both internal biological factors and external environmental factors.
Personality Disorder and Brain Differences
Researchers are still working on it, but the conclusion of most of the research that had been done us, the brain of borderline para personality disorder, is under the influence of complicated aspects that make it red alert all the time. It works like the on and off switch. As soon as the switch is turned on, the current hostile temperament flows at the speed of light and your control power if management fails. This situation is disastrous for you, as you subsist nowhere.
The problem is built inside the brain; what can you do about it… the answer is to change your mind as it seems defective… change your neural structure. It does not sound realistic. But it’s no joke. You can do it. Some techniques and therapies work successfully. All you have to do is to cooperate and lose no hope. You will not replace your brain with a new one physically; you have to change the way it works.
Personality Disorder and Stigma
Personality has Innately connected the identity. So having a personality disorder makes you believe that there’s undoubtedly a fault by default.
Personality is referred to be our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. But it’s also true that we can’t regulate ourselves the same way all the time. Yet we also have a natural tendency to interact and socialize consistently. That is how we portray people as shy, outgoing fun-loving.
These are the components of personality. Clinically analysis states that a personality disorder is a way you relate to the world, and it might be different from many people around you. That is the factor that causes trouble for you and the others.
But healthy nutrition is that you can get yourself out of it.
Three self-help tips to help you with a borderline personality disorder
- Learn to resistanguish
- Smoothen the hurricane inside you
- Enhance your interpersonal abilities
Now let’s discuss all these tips in detail.
Smoothen the storm inside you
With borderline personality disorders -you are always at war with your impulses and emotions. It is going to be hard for you to resist. But you have to stop going with the flow, and you don’t even have to fight them. All you need to do is ignoring them. Stop focusing on what storm is arising out in your mind. Stop emphasizing your past; don’t fuss about your future. Care about your present only. Just experience your feelings, don’t judge them, and don’t try critics.
You should better try some cautious techniques here,
- Make a keen observation as these feelings come and go.
- Concentrate on your body response that is lead by these impulses.
- Try to watch them as a third person, and a neutral zone will do best.
- Make yourself believe that you are ready to live with that. They are a significant part of yours.
- Along with the confession you made above, try to believe that living with them does not mean to let them control you in real life.
Which sensory-based stimulation works best for you
Loom around, find what you got to provoke your mood in the best way. Use the sensory system that is always there for you, so you need to look at what sense will facilitate you better.
One strategy that works best once might not help your other time, so look for various techniques. We are giving some suggestions with this respect to make a start.
Try loud music or music that strikes you because you love the genre. Play it yourself if you prefer, like the piano or violin or something like that. Try to find natural sounds that can soothe you like, birds chirp, waterfalls, baby laughter, or anything from nature. A sound machine can do well if you can manage.
Look for something that grabs your attention, like scenery or a painting. You can go to nature and lest it assists you. Catch a glimpse of flowers in a garden or view of the mountain or sky. You can watch some t.v shows or your favorite movie. Photographs of some special events divert attention. If nothing else is possible at the moment, use your imagination and visualize the first thing that soothes you.
When you feel empty inside, try to eat or drink something with an intense flavor or a significant feeling. Try hot tea, soup, candy, vinegar flakes, or some strong-flavored mint.
Go for the odors that attract you most like, your favorite scent, real flowers fragrance, or lit a candle if you like the smell. The scent of your favorite food can also do best in two ways. If nothings available, go to your kitchen and experience the strong smell of spices.
When you are feeling distressed, hold something tightly. Take a hot bath or a cold one if it calms you down. If you don’t want to take a shower, pour some cold or mildly hot water on your hands and face.
Reduce your impulsive defenselessness
When you are stressed, you are under the influence of negative emotions, so you need to take care of your mental and physical activities. Because you are exposed to many correlating disorders as well. So concentrate on the following;
- Take plenty of sound sleep.
- Exercise regularly
- Keep practicing relaxation techniques.
- Avoid mood-altering drugs
- Eat a balanced and nutritious diet.
Learn to resist anguish
We talked about many techniques that will help you out of the storm rising inside you, but what is that storm is so much powerful that using the above methods does not work. That is where borderline personality disorder takes all of the control leading to reckless choices.
You may try to harm yourself by dangerous drive or unsafe sex or frolic drinking or cutting.
Shift yourself from being out of control to being under control
The very first step the acknowledgment of your behavior. Your influenced actions might make you feel better for a short time, but long term results are way too far to comprehend.
You know you can’t get rid of a wild horse, then you have to learn to take control of its wildness instead of trying to tame it at the first go.
Just press the pause button when the show is already on, and you can’t shut it off yet. A grounding exercise can help with that pause move.
- Find a quiet spot and sit there for a while in a comfortable position.
- Focus on your Where are your feet, how are hands kept in your lap, the type of place you are sitting on.
- Take slow breaths, listen to heartbeats. Pause your breath and count on there; repeat this activity several times.
Things to do in emergencies
When nothing mentioned above seems to work out, and all attempts go void, try these emergency based moves to distract your attention.
- Make yourself busy with gardening, playing games like Sudoku or any fun puzzle, knitting, playing a musical instrument. Read your favorite book or start painting.
- It would help if you threw yourself into work like laundry, cooking, cleaning, going grocery shopping, etc.
- Get yourself active, start running, exercising, yoga, or even a walk would be best.
- Call your friend or one whose company comforts you. Talking and discussing with someone who you trust can make you gain some perspective.
Enhance your abilities
When you are coping with a borderline personality disorder, you are already struggling hard with relationships. It’s because you don’t think about them the way they expect it. Your way of relating to them is different and holding weak edges. It’s not that you don’t care about them, but the fact is that you can’t make it healthily.
Put a check on your assumptions.
As you are already going through distress situations, you might misread the intentions of others. The next thing you do is to start speculating pessimistic thoughts. Here you need to stop for a moment and think of some optimistic alternatives. Most of the time, who have perceived all wrong. Just like an illusion or delusion that looks entirely different than what it is.
You can either think of real substitutes for the bothering thoughts about others, or you can ask the others to explain their intention to make it Crystal clear for you instead of wandering in a desert of chaos.
When you can’t tolerate the whole situation, you need someone to blame, so what you do is projection. You point out others around you for everything that is going wrong. Now what you need to do is to put a pause and analysis of the whole thing.
Play a responsible Role
After the acknowledgment of the problem you are facing, you need to act wisely with your relationships. It seems hard because you’re already in trouble, but it’s your part. No one else is going to play your role. Accept the responsibility of the relationship between you and your loved ones. Look inside yourself, and you might be pushing your links away from you, your self, and being unaware of what you are doing. After acting a decisive role, you will see your relationships will grow healthier, and those who started drifting away from you will again begin turning back close to you.
How to treat borderline personality disorder
For the treatment of borderline personality disorder, you need to make adequate diagnostic measures. It is important to note that borderline pa personality disorder is hard to be diagnosed on its own. Many associated symptoms make it easier to get BPD diagnosed. It would help if you chose a professional therapist for the diagnosis and then for the treatment.
Why is it necessary to look for the right therapist?
It is quite significant to find the right therapist who could make an accurate diagnosis, choose helpful treatment techniques, and lead towards lasting recovery.
What would an expert therapist would do is:
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
This therapy was formerly used to treat suicidal thoughts, but it was great for the clients coping with a borderline personality disorder. In this therapy, a specialist will perform it in two ways;
- By individual weekly therapist sessions
- By group therapy sessions
This therapy is named “gold standard” and is being used successfully for substance abuse and eating disorders.
The treatment emphasizes the implication of collaborative relationships and the development of skills to cope with highly emotional situations.
This psychotherapy concentrates on recognizing and remaking the unhealthy patterns of thinking. Schemas are deeply held rituals closely related to your sense of self and how you view the world. The fact is that comprehensive research in Schema-focused therapy is yet incomplete. But the clients who got the treatment with this therapy showed hopeful outcomes.
Why therapy? And not medication?
No medication is a cure for borderline personality disorder. All it needs is time and some proven mindful therapies. It just does not mean that no medicine will be applied to you if you are suffering from BPD. Drug certainly proves helpful when you have correlating disorders, as well. But do far FDA has not announced any medicine specifically for borderline personality disorder.
A professional will prescribe you medicines only when you are in the following conditions;
- You are hallucinating and having paranoid thoughts.
- Suffering from panic attacks and drastic anxiety
- You are facing bipolar disorder and depression.
- You are at suicidal risk.